Fuck You Money
Capital

Est. 2021

The only fund you get to spend your

fuck you moneystonk moneyIPO money$GME money

F🖕ck You Money Capital - The only fund you get to spend your stonks money | Product Hunt

WHO CAN INVEST

Did you make bank on $GME, $AMC or anything Elon mentioned? Did you cash in at your startup's IPO?

Think you can invest in this fund? You probably aren't rich enough.

Do you have ridiculous money, we're talking tres comas rich !

If you can't blow away $10k-150k then we're not your fund.

"What's the point of having fuck you money if you never say fuck you?"

Booby 'Axe' Axelrod

Founder & CEO, AXE Capital


OUR INVESTMENT FOCUS

We invest that extra pile of cash you made from stonks. 

What will you invest it in?

Doesn't matter. - That's for us to know and you not to care about.

Could be saving the world from Co2, Kanye's latest idea or the most riddiculous startup with an insane valuation. You'll never know and it doesn't matter.

It's your Fuck you money, take a bet, waste it with us!

At least you'll be part of this investment club! Heck you might get a tshirt out of it if you're nice.

Can't afford to invest? You don't have enough FYM.


OUR PROCESS

We invest to make you even richer, like stupid rich!

01.

We have access to the best deals around. The ones that only come from private, secret networks.

02.

We know the best people. All of them.

03.

Your deals are guaranteed a return. From internet credit to dogecoin, it's going to be big!

OUR PORTFOLIO

It's secret.

Thought it does sort of involve Space, Cars and Bitcoin.

Minimum Investment

Think of this as bragging rights. You get to invest with the only fund that's going to throw your money away on riddiculous investments. Could be Elon Musk's next venture, could be co-investing with BadUnicorn.vc, could be helping girls scouts or buying GameStock entirely.

You won't know until you do it.

Ya Basic Tier

$10k

One time

You used Grandma's money and you bought $AMC, not quite a $GME winner, but close.

Unlimited Tweets
10 high fives
A pic of you on a yacht (Thx Photoshop)
A sticker. Maybe.
Mention on our investor page

Mini-GME Tier

$50k

Per Quarter

News outlets will hear about you for sure!

A re-tweet from Elon
12 high fives
A yatch + a model gf
A hoodie
Mention on our investor page

Ballr Tier

$150k

Per Quarter

You will become a god amongst the investor world.

Become internet legend!
1 high five from Jeff Bezos
A crypto named after you
Mention on in our investor page
Dinner with Elon Musk

OUR MOTO

We invest in stonks. Simple

Fuck you money capital. The only place to invest your stonks money.

You have questions

The first rule of Fuck You Money capital is that you don't ask what we are investing in. We might tell you one day. When we IPO probably. We've got WeWork's playbook, so we'll solid.

Can I invest?

If you're asking, you're probably poor. Go see some VC.

We're only for the ultra mega rich. The stronks rich. Don't ask again.

What's your investment strategy?

We invest following a complicated algorithm that you wouldn't understand. It's basically a riddiculous factor x fun factor x magic x elon's tweet probability x reddit mentions + some magic numbers we get from how many people followed us on Clubhouse that day.

The rest is secret.

Can I get my money back?

Ha. You're funny. 

Can you invest in someone as a fuck you?

Maybe. There's a 12% admin charge to do so. It goes to feeding the unicorns* we need to use to achieve this.

*no unicorns will be harmed in this process. mostly they will be cuddled.

I've got a question...

Fine.

Don't slide into my DM's or anything. Just email me so that I can ignore you and blame it on Google's SPAM settings.

Get your people to reach out to our people.
They will know what to do.

Want to raise with us?

toby@investmill.co

Copyright 2020 | A InvestMill ltd, the investment arm of StartupMill.co Ltd. Probably the first Yakacorn